Pointless Story

I was stuck at Subway Halloween night, which sucked because as soon as I offered to cover the shift so the other girl can go to a party, I was invited to a Halloween party at Jay's house. It was slow night, so it wasn't too bad. Vicky and I were able to just sit around most of the night and amuse ourselves talking to Hugh Heffner, Wolverine, and some vampires. Bryan texted me a picture of the baby wearing his Batman costume.

As soon as we were through locking up I called Bryan to see if he had dropped the baby off at Nonna's house and gone to the party, and if I could catch the tail end of it if I got to Jay's around a quarter to 11. He picked up the phone and said "I'm drunk, and Tom's throwing up in the bathroom. You have to drive me home." It was an hour drive to Jay's house. I called again once I got to the end of his street.

"Hey sweetie, I'm here."
"Lys, this isn't Bryan, it's Nathan. Bryan's on the floor." Christ.

Bryan was sitting indian-style in the kitchen with his head on the floor in a puddle of vomit.

"What the hell happened?" I ask Nate.
Bryan had shown up at the party late, and he had drunk too much trying to "catch up" to everyone else. I don't think anyone knew how many shots he had.

"This is only the second time Bryan's gotten throw-up drunk. Last time was at Bryan's old apartment. Remember, Jay, you went to check in on Bryan in his bedroom, and he had thrown up on his bed?"
"I accidentally put my hand in it."

There were two people in the bathroom with Tom trying to unclog the toilet. "You alive in there, Tom?" people called to him. I heard Tom retch loudly in reply.

I sat down on the floor next to Bryan and rubbed his back.
"I don't know why I did this, I don't know what I was thinking," Bryan says. "I'm never drinking again."
"You need to drink some water."
"I want to die."
"Okay, but not until you've finished your water. Then you can die." He sort of smiled at that.
"When you and me get married, I'm never going to be this drunk again. We're going to get married and have babies, and I'm not going to be this stupid again."
"Have a sip of water."
"I'm never going to drink again."

"That's what everyone says," Will says, "but 97% of the time they do it anyway."
"I've gone 23 years before without drinking, I'm sure I wouldn't miss it now," Bryan started to mumble back. But I don't think anyone was listening.

I spent a couple of hours on the floor next to him rubbing his back and wiping vomit off of his face and out of his hair. Nate was kept himself nearby with a spray bottle and a roll of paper towel to sop up the continous mess. He kept saying "I'm sorry" over and over, and "I'm a loser." I tried to keep Bryan's hair out of the mess.
"I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm a loser. I'm never going to be able to give you the things you want."
I just rubbed his shoulder and kept offering him sips of water.

I've never been around someone drunk before... whenever Bryan and I are drinking together, I get drunk so much faster, he ends up keeping an eye on me, and neither of us gets to this point. I have two shots, I become the Human Blanket, and Bryan nurses the rest of his drink slowly while he keeps a glass of water in my hands.

We waited for him to sober up a bit able to stand on his own, or else I wouldn't be able to carry him to and from the car. I got him inside, changed his clothes, and put him to bed with a bucket nearby.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you know that?" he says when he's settled in. "Wait, that's not true. Luke. You and Luke, you're like, tied... I wouldn't want to say you're the best and then have Luke like, 'what the fuck, Dad?'" He fell asleep almost immediately.

Bryan had the drunken courtesy to take off his mud-covered shoes before he came inside, but he tracked his socks through the mud outside the doorway and walked through the kitchen in them. I took my time cleaning up after him. What is he talking about, I can't give you the things you want? What does he think I want? Has he actually seriously wondered about being married, or was this just him being goofy and drunk? One day when I was making dinner, he made some comment... and it sounded like it was along the lines of... and he definitely wasn't drunk that day. If he was serious, he could have just been using being drunk as an excuse to run his mouth.

I'm guilty of doing the same thing. At first, I would only say "I love you" when we were having sex. It's safer that way-- he could have just shrug it off, say that I was just caught up messing around, and everything I was saying was just gibberish. Just like I'm doing now, wondering to myself if he's just a very strange, affectionate drunk.